Vay Jay Ess

by mysteriousmissavril

Jean Noel is the owner of a vineyard in Napa and naturally, a Big Daddy. Despite being a winemaker, he doesn’t have a drinking problem. Rather, he meditates on mountaintops, and goes on yoga retreats. No complaints here, but my ideal Big Daddy has a more gunslinging, cowboy boots, and double-Dewars approach to life (with an opera-loving side and a New Yorker subscription).

I met Jean Noel a couple weeks before Mardi Gras at a certain krewe’s party at the Foundry. He zeroed in on me before I’d gotten a chance to sidle up to the bar, my first order of business. I have that effect on older men – they forget all about their heart condition and run to buy me alcohol – but also, on a humbler note, I was one of only a handful of women under 60. Party time.

The bar was stocked with his wine – VGS – which stands for “Very Good Shit”, because when people would visit his winery they’d ask for the very good shit and that is what he gave them. Several glasses and group photos later, we were outside, ready to move on to Delachaise, when he snatched my friend Brittany’s go-cup of wine out of her hand.

“Vat eees zees you’re drinking? Let me smell eeet”.

He needed only a cursory whiff to ascertain that she had been drinking not VGS, but VBS.

“Vat esss zees SHEET? How could you put zees in your BO-day? Life ess too short to drink SHEET.” In one dramatic but authoritative flick of the wrist he tossed the wine onto the street in this way that I imagine only a French or gay person can toss liquid from a glass. Here’s hoping he reenacts it one day for a commercial.

Way to be, Big Daddy. Life is too short to drink shit.